‘Men are from Mars and women are from Venus’, is it just a saying or does it hold true? There are many things that women do that make sense to women but not to men and vice versa. Is it meant to be understood or should we take it as just one of those things that ‘just are’? I suppose it is the same thing with culture. Some ‘habits’ are unique to specific cultures and some have been adopted by some because they have simply become convenient for them. Polygamy is such.
In a time when westernization was a thing of the ‘west’ and the significance of an African man was the number of cows he owned and the number of wives he had. The more he had of each, would ultimately make him a man. Keeping in mind that life was simple then and certain viruses did not ‘openly’ exist. In a different era and a more modern and complicated society where westernization supposedly simplifies things, does that idealism still hold true?
A black man with many girlfriends is considered the ‘ish’ in today’s society. A man of a different culture with a wife and mistress is scum of the earth. Where does the difference lie? Sexual diseases are endemic in post-traditional times and to some, a man is now a man because of his ability to stay faithful to one. Today’s youth attends mixed schools, private schools and insist on being seen in the latest fashion trends (they wouldn’t dream of being seen in ibheshu), they twang harder than Americans. Their goals in life? To be seen in the latest sports car, the finest events and gigs (attending cultural events is just social suicide) and lastly, being with the ladies (‘a man has needs’) and the excuse for having so many girlfriends? It’s a cultural thing! Am I the only one who sees a somewhat warped picture here?!
Phumzile Zulu
